Tuesday, March 1, 2011


Boring. Director's notes are too long and unnecessary in most programs. Put in an advertisement and make some money. I find history notes interesting but, I don't need your explanation of the journey that brought you here. Or the attempt to cover your ass in something you missed along your journey. I don't need a rehash of the history of the play, performances to date, or that Kevin Bacon made his debut with this play. Or, the dedication to dead grandma who would have loved to have been here. Duh.

The first time someone ask me if I had my Director's notes ready for the program I panicked. The what? You know the extra information you want to give us explaining the play and what we are going to see? Maybe a poem? My first thought was.....well fuck. Of the few rehearsals they have seen, especially the tech rehearsals, they don't get it. They don't understand what we are trying to do on the stage. And a poem? I only know drunken limericks. Plus, they need a bio of my life and keep that to three or four sentences. Right.

First Draft Director's Notes For Program:

The play takes place in the heart of "any town". The time could be today, yesterday or tomorrow. (Imagining blank stares from the audience) Anyway, in the first scene we couldn't build a mountain on the stage, so anytime you see an actor peering over the stage edge it's 100 feet down. Also that harmonica type sound you hear is suppose to be a train whistle. Then, that big bang you'll hear in Scene 4 is not part of the play. Someone backstage always slams the door on their way outside to smoke. And that transition beat at the end of Act I is totally messed up and we could never get it established or resolved in rehearsals. We did once.
I wish you could have seen it last week.

During intermission please DO NOT come up on stage to see how the water works or go backstage to visit the actors. There will be time for that afterwards. I'm sorry the concessions are overpriced. Not my call. If you go next door you can have an adult beverage for about the same price. You'll need it after what just happened to Gloria at the end of Act I. Plus they have free pretzels and nuts.

Beginning of Act II it appears audiences have forgotten that Gloria is dead. Gloria IS dead. We didn't have the money to afford the fancy expensive lighting effect needed for the car crash scene so we are using flashlights and pieces of cloth on a stick. I hope you get it. At the end of Act II when the lights go down the second time after a big bang (no it's not the door from the backstage smokers) you can start applauding.

After the play I'll be next door having an adult beverage and some free snacks. Oh, the poem......

There once was a man from Nantucket.......

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